


Eighth day of xmas

by purplefox



Series: 12 days of xmas [8]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Christmas, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-09-07 07:43:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8789449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplefox/pseuds/purplefox
Summary: Cows on his lawn?





	

Five in the morning Dick’s morning started, he was not pleased at all by it. He had gotten in two hours before. Passed out on his bed in his uniform in an attempt to get some sleep. Patrol had been long and with him avoiding any alone time with Bruce patrol had been harder.

Him avoiding Bruce had led him to finding all sorts of trouble and petty crime. Dick found it amazing how many robberies he had stopped in his attempt to avoid Bruce. Gordan had thanked him for the good work and all Dick was able to think about was that he had the perfect excuse for whether anyone else asked if he was avoiding Bruce.

Except that he was tired. No one had come home with him and honestly he was so grateful for that. He was exhausted and sore. The amount of petty thieves that had been on the streets had been exhausting not to mention that he had taken time to talk to all of them and give them some old advise to turn their lives around.

Then he had taken some time to take and reassure the victims. In some cases walk them to someone safe and that had taken time too. He had been dead on his feet by the time to end patrol had come. He had never been so happy to shut off his coms and make for home. Falling into his bed had felt like heaven.

Which made the unruly racket currently outside his house a living hell. Dick glared at his clock before he shoved his pillow over his head. He stayed still stubbornly only to have the sound persist. He growled because there was only one thing it could be. Bruce and yet another day of the madness, Dick was slowly losing his _mind_!

He tottered out of bed and hit his foot on his sticks that he had dropped on the floor. He gave himself a few seconds to curse before he made for the door. Only to stop, curse yet again and strip out of his costume. Dick left it on the floor and snagged a pair of jogging pants and stumbled for the kitchen. Yet another day and this one was way too early.

He flicked on the light and glared out the window and the trucks in his driveway. He frowned at the eight women that got out of one truck dressed in maid costumes. He frowned at them as they walked with small stools in their hands a silver pail in the other.

It was certainly weird but what was weirder were the eight cows that were slowly removed from yet another truck. Dick felt his mouth drop open as the black and white cows were led over to the women who had sat themselves on his lawn the pail in front of them. Dick looked at the women sitting on their little wooden chairs to the eight black and white cows and felt nothing but confusion.

That was until the cows were lined up so that one woman had a cow in front of her and Dick continued to be confused until the first woman reached underneath the cow and grabbed underneath.

Dick stepped back from the window when he realized that he was watching Eight women in maid costumes milk cows on his lawn and not only that, judging by the amount of trucks still in his drive way… it would be a repeat of all the other days.

He did not know what kept his feet rooted. Morbid curiosity? Horror? Whatever it was Dick stayed riveted until the cows were led back onto the truck they had come from and the women picked up the silver pails now filled with milk that he could see from the window.

A Wayne worker came forward with a huge bottle that the women poured the milk into and Dick shook his head again because he had no idea exactly what he was looking at. To him this display showed him that Bruce had _lost_ it.

The women picked back up their little wooden stools to head back to the truck they had come from. The door had barely closed behind them before dread filled Dick when another truck opened up and he heard the unholy squawking. Honestly it was too damn early to be watching that sort of train wreck and he had not even had coffee yet.

He turned away from the window and went for the coffee pot because after these days he knew exactly what was going to happen. The birds already with him were about to get some more friends. Maybe the structure would be enlarged. He would have yet another box in his mailbox with five golden rings that were too expensive to be treated so and he would have neatly installed on his lawn yet another fucking pear tree.

Dick leaned over his kitchen counter and counted to ten. He was slowly being driven mad by this ridiculousness. He could usually read Bruce but this, all these things left him lost in the wind but honestly enough was enough. This was driving him crazy. It was too early in the morning for this crap. Someone else had to suffer this bullshit with him.

Dick dashed back into his bedroom and rifled about for his phone before he found it buried between the pillow and the wall. He flicked through his friend list as he considered just who to call before he hovered over Tim’s name. it was the best choice because Tim not only would Tim listen to him he might be able to weasel out of Bruce just what in the hell he was doing.

At least he wouldn’t have anymore surprises for that day Bruce related. He had that to look forward to. No more Bruce ridiculousness until patrol.

X

He had stepped out to help Damian with something and what he saw on his step had him freeze in his tracks. A huge bottle with all sorts of stickers on it along with the Wayne label but that was not what had Dick so perplexed. It was the fact that it was a fucking bottle of milk, milk he was willing to bet came from the whole scene he had seen just that morning. Fucking Bruce _again_.


End file.
